PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AVENUE

Friday 14 August 2015

Imagination Power

One of your greatest powers is...your imagination.

imagination

Let me explain. William James was a philosopher and one of the leading thinkers a century ago. He said this about the power of the mind: “Anything you may hold firmly in your imagination can be yours.” He believed there was tremendous power in imagination and wrote in length about how humans can bring about significant positive changes in their attitudes, behaviors and relationships by first holding a vivid image of their best selves, or the person they want to become, in their imagination.

In his book The Winner’s Edge, writer Denis Waitley tells of high school basketball players who learned the power of holding something firmly in their imaginations. The students were divided into three groups. Group One was told not to practice shooting free throws for one month. Group Two was told to practice shooting free throws in the gym every afternoon for a month. Group Three was told to IMAGINE shooting free throws every afternoon for one hour for a month. (Frankly, I can hardly “imagine” a group of athletes, after sitting in class all day, dressing out, going to the gym, sitting in the bleachers and just thinking about shooting free throws for an hour every day. I suppose it’s all in the name of research.)

But look at these results. Group One, the no-practice group, slipped slightly in their percentage free- throw average. Group Two, the students that practiced, increased their accuracy by about two percentage points. Group Three, the ones who imagined shooting, also increased about two percentage points - the same as the group that practiced.

Neuroscience is just now discovering that there are biological reasons for this phenomenon William James talked about so long ago. But here is the point. Do you want to excel at some endeavor? Do you want to improve your outlook? Is there a skill you’d like to perfect? Do you want better relationships? Or would you like to replace your fear of something, such as speaking in public or heading up a project, with more confidence and courage? If so, then mental practice, holding a vivid image of what you want in your mind, is as important as physical practice. The time you spend “seeing” in your mind what you are trying to accomplish actually helps to bring it to pass.

I don’t mean we have to sit down and imagine something for an hour every day. It’s as simple as holding a vivid mental picture of what you truly desire and returning to it as often as possible.

Imagine your success. Visualize doing that thing you fear. Get it in your mind. Then imagine your success in that area again and again, like free throws going into the basket. What does it look like to be confident? How does it look to be actually doing the thing you’re afraid to do? How does it feel? Can you imagine it in detail? In a short time, you will discover that things really are changing for you.

And after that, well, just imagine what else you can do.

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By Steve Goodier - http://www.LifeSupportSystem.com

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Wednesday 5 August 2015

Stop Trying to Be Normal

Stop trying to be normal. It undermines your success and keeps you in a state of mediocrity It’s an interesting phenomenon. This idea of being “normal” starts to take hold in high school. There begins to form this desire to “fit in” - to be part of a group. Or at least, not be singled out as someone who “doesn’t fit in”. Along with that comes the desire to be an “insider”. This need to belong and to be an insider can be very strong for many people.

stop being normal

Although the challenges and insecurities from our high school days are long gone, that need to belong - to be part of the group - to be accepted - to belong - can still be very strong. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be accepted and/or wanting to fit in, but when this “wanting” turns to “needing”, it becomes detrimental to a person’s success.

This often occurs when a person has an “external frame of reference” rather than an “internal frame of reference”. Having an external frame of reference means looking outside of one’s self to determine the truth of things. Things like right vs. wrong, appropriate vs. inappropriate, and successful vs. unsuccessful. When a person has an external frame of reference, they look to others for approval. They base their self-worth and their self-image on what others think and say about them.

Conversely, having an internal frame of reference means looking within one’s self to determine the truth of things; to determine right vs. wrong, appropriate vs. inappropriate, and successful vs. unsuccessful. When a person has an internal frame of reference, they don’t look to others for approval. I’m not saying recognition and acknowledgment aren’t meaningful to someone with an internal frame of reference. I’m simply saying that they aren’t the driving forces for their actions. Someone with an internal frame of reference bases their self-worth and their self-confidence on what they know to be true about themselves.

Which brings us back to the idea of being “normal”. Most people consider themselves to be “normal” and consequently most groups of people consider themselves to be “normal”. Therefore, in order to remain part of the group, one needs to remain “normal”.

And being “normal” - by definition - means being “average”. Consequently, many people - in an attempt to fit in and belong - spend their lives striving to be average. Sometimes they do it consciously and sometimes they do it unconsciously. Sometimes it’s done by intent and sometimes inadvertently. But it happens nonetheless A person is striving to be average (or “normal”) when they work hard to meet a quota rather than exceed it.

A person is striving to be average when they purposely minimize themselves and their dreams so that their associates, family and/or friends don’t belittle them for dreaming big. A person strives to be average by “playing it safe” - not in terms of taking physical or financial risks, but in terms of taking the risks inherent in hoping for, dreaming of, and working towards the things that would set you apart from the others.

It takes courage to break away from “normal”; to separate oneself from the crowd. You risk not fitting in and not being accepted by the group of people you’ve been a part of. You risk feeling embarrassed if you don’t achieve your goals when you said you would. You risk being disappointed and frustrated.

But when you reach your goals - when you realize your dreams - you will know that you are not “normal”. You will not be average. And interestingly enough, you will find that you’ve become part of a new, different group. You will be part of a group that is not “normal”. You will be part of a group that knows that each member is not “average”.

Mark Twain once said, “Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

The decision to separate yourself from the crowd comes from a within. It arises from a desire to realize one’s full potential and a resolve to take responsibility for one’s future. It doesn’t matter what others say or do or think. None of them pay your bills. None of them have your dreams.

Sometimes it’s a lonely path. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes it’s frustrating. But one thing is true for sure. It’s always worthwhile.

I know what it’s like to try to fit in. I know what it’s like to try to be normal. I used to have an external frame of reference.

But I changed. I stopped trying to fit in. I stopped trying to be average and I started striving for excellence. I started setting bigger and bigger dreams and goals. I started associating with other successful people. I don’t fit in very well with people who are “normal”. I never have. But I’ve come to realize that I fit in with people who are extraordinary.

So stop trying to be normal. Come and join me instead...

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About the author

Michael Beck, Executive Strategist, is president of Michael Beck International, Inc. - a firm specializing in executive development, leadership effectiveness, and executive strategy. Connect on Linkedln: www.linkedin.com/in/mibeck and visit www.michaelibeck.com to learn more.

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Monday 3 August 2015

Don't Pull up the Seeds When You've Just Sown Them.

Why is it that 95% of people who set themselves goals fail to reach them? In one word: impatience.
The most important and difficult stage of goal-building is the immediate stage after you set your goals. In the first stage, there’s a brief blip of euphoria. But this soon passes and then you hit the arid plateau of learning. It’s in this phase that most people lose their way and give up.

Don't Pull up

But this is the phase when you have to hang in there despite appearances. Otherwise, it’s like digging up the seeds a week after sowing them. So, here, for those who need a road map through the arid plains of goal-building, is a 6-step guide to managing your impatience and keeping your plans on track.

1. Have Plenty of Motivation Reminders

One of the cruel tricks that life plays on us is to make goal-setting easy and goal-building hard. This is no more true than in the opening phases of working towards a new goal. When we choose a new goal that seems within our reach, we are full of excitement and anticipation. It’s like the start of a marathon when everyone cheers us over the start line. But the cheers soon become a distant memory when we move into the second phase, the hard slog. It’s in this phase that we need to have a ready supply of motivation reminders to keep us going. Here’s one I often use. It’s from Ray Kroc, founder of the global restaurant chain McDonald’s. Kroc was an amazing entrepreneur. He says that it is in the early stages of working towards a new goal that you learn the most: “When you’re green, you grow. When you’re ripe, you rot.”

2. Be a Fly, Not A Bee

The chief problem with the early stages of goal-building is that you can never be sure of the right way forward, particularly if you are breaking new ground. You try something and it doesn’t work. You try again and it doesn’t work again. And again.And again. That’s tough. But it’s essential. Because you’re learning. Karl Weick says that in this situation it is much better to be a fly than a bee. When you place a fly and a bee in an upturned jam jar, the bee will head straight for the light and repeatedly buzz against the bottom of the glass. The fly on the other hand will dive frantically around the jar exploring every corner until he finds a way out. That’s the example to follow when you want to succeed: be a fly, not a bee.

3. Accept the Struggle

Those who are eager to succeed often treat the second phase of goal-building as an unnecessary waste of time. They would prefer to skip it and jump to the next phase of success. But this is to misunderstand the whole point of the second phase. It’s there to toughen you up. You may have heard the story of “The Man and the Butterfly” about the man who saw a butterfly struggling to emerge from its cocoon. To help it out, the man cut a bigger hole in the cocoon and pulled the butterfly through. However, instead of flying away, the butterfly was unable to fly. Its body was too swollen. What the man did not understand was that the butterfly’s struggle to emerge through the hole forces fluid from its body to its wings and thus makes them strong and ready to carry its weight. Like the butterfly, we need to struggle to succeed.

4. Be Objective

In stage two of goal-building, it’s valuable to stand back and distance ourselves from what’s going on. We need to be tripeds not bipeds. Bipeds are people who see only themselves and others. Risk-taking is a do-or-die undertaking. Progress is either a triumph or disaster. Life is black and white, winning or losing. Tripeds, on the other hand, can distance themselves from their situation by finding a third position where they can observe things with objectivity. Life isn’t either-or any more. It has depth, colour, and many angles.

5. Don’t Judge Yourself

Our win-lose culture puts great pressure on us to consider ourselves at any moment in life as either winners or losers. This means that failure is a bad thing and winning is everything. One of the most quoted expressions in our modern culture is: “Failure is not an option”. But this is to misunderstand the real nature of success. We need to fail in order to succeed. And we need to fail big-time in order to succeed big-time. Practically every successful entrepreneur, from Thomas Edison to Walt Disney, experienced failure many times over. But they didn’t judge themselves. They interpreted failure as “not succeeding yet” and saw it as just one more step on the road to success.

6. Manage Your Morale

Of course, it’s not always much fun to be stuck in the hard slog phase of goal-building. Nobody’s cheering any more. You have nothing to show for your efforts. And the dream still feels as far away as ever. That’s when you have to manage your morale. That means managing your stress, keeping things light, and working on the things you can’t see: your thinking patterns, your emotions, and your spirit. And, like the fluid in the butterfly, these may just be the things that will make you fly. I can say: “I am terribly frightened and fear is terrible and it makes me uncomfortable, so I won’t do it.” Or I could say: “Get used to being uncomfortable.” It is uncomfortable doing something risky. But so what? Do you want to stagnate and just be comfortable?” (Barbra Streisand)

We human beings are very similar to the plant world. We grow best when we work with Nature and time. Don’t be in too much of a hurry to achieve your goals. If you hold on with faith, certainty, and determination, you’ll get there in due course when the time is right.

Recommend To Read: How To Change Limiting Beliefs

About the author

Eric Garner runs ManageTrainLearn.com, the site with the biggest and most original range of management training materials on the Internet.

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Saturday 18 July 2015

How To Change Limiting Beliefs

changing beliefs

When you believe that something is right, this means that you're convinced-by logic-that this thing is right, as simple as that, right? No, this is not how beliefs are formed, a belief needs evidence to be installed, and those evidences don't have to be real or reasonable at all, you may consider an unease look from a stranger as an evidence for a belief that says I'm boring! So you first have the belief, then you start to look for evidences to support it, then you may start to twist some facts and make them look like real evidences, so the question is

Where do beliefs come from?

All the beliefs come from one place, we as humans have a need to avoid pain and a desire to gain pleasure, and the beliefs are just shortcuts ways for avoiding pain and gaining pleasure, for example your belief that says 'it can't be done' could be just a shortcut for avoiding the pain of disappointment or failure you been through, and after that you start to look for evidences to support it, and because if you didn't find evidences the belief will crash your mind will create evidences from nowhere by twisting things around, makes sense?

How to change limiting beliefs?

I'm going to show you two methods that will help you change any limiting belief, here we go.

As I said, to install a belief you need evidence/s to support it, so in order to destroy any belief or uninstall it, we must destroy the evidences, we must challenge the evidences, what does that mean? We must question the beliefs and create doubt, doubt in the evidences that support the belief that we want to destroy, for example, if someone believes that he's boring, he needs to question his belief, really? I'm boring? Who said that? What are my evidences? Are those evidences were collected in a right way? This is how you change a belief, you question it, over and over again, the stronger the belief, the more effort it will take to question it, but eventually questioning any belief over and over again will destroy it, especially If the evidences were like "a glance from a stranger", so challenge your false and limiting beliefs by questioning them, eventually they will breakaway.

Another powerful method to change a belief is to link some pain to it, like I said beliefs are just shortcuts to avoid pain or to gain pleasure, so when you link pain to a belief by actually realizing how much it's damaging you, you'll avoid that belief and thus destroy it, for example if you stopped going to the gym because of a belief that says "gym is boring" or "I have a bad genes", but in the reality you are trying to avoid the pain of stepping into the gym, maybe because you still out of shape or for any other reason, this belief can limit you and you need to destroy it, and you can do that by actually linking pain to it, pain more than the one you're trying to avoid by adopting this belief, how? By realizing how much it's costing you and how much it will cost you on the long term, you're going to be out of shape for ever, of course this is a simple example, but I guess you got the point.

How powerful is that?

Beyond what you can imagine!! This is how some people manipulate others, this is how some people remain failures forever, this is how some people were able to do great things and this is how some people changed the world.

The power of the beliefs is unlimited, your beliefs about yourself, about the world, about the people around you and about the whole universe shape who you are and what you do, someone can manipulate you by challenging your integrity or by making you link pain to it, it's a subconscious game, so take charge of your subconscious mind and don't just accept any belief just because it's there, it was a conviction in the past that no one would use the personal computers! Keep the good beliefs and smash the limiting ones.

Recommend To Read: Don't Pull up the Seeds When You've Just Sown Them.

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Imagination Power

Stop Trying to Be Normal

Don't Pull up the Seeds When You've Just Sown Them.

How To Change Limiting Beliefs